Thinkings

Had a rather let us say hectic year of change, some good though mostly bad. My Dad passing away in November on my mum and nans birthday which they share was such a shock. He had not been ill and just had a massive heart attack in the early afternoon, I got to say goodbye to him and couldn't help but smile at the fact it was the first time i had seen him without a cap on for years. He never took it off, not even for my aunty's wedding photos. I wrote him a poem which came from the heart but I'm still rather proud of:

Daddy had a life long friend
Tee Vee was his name
Glass of cider, fightin' films
adverts were his bane

The lounge and couch was where he sat
morning, noon or night.
Though we all knew the secrets
so we would win the fight.

Cartoons took a gentle hand
as he dropped off to sleep
Head on chest and snoring now
the remote we'd nick and keep

One computer, three of us
we were always going to fight
but a packet of crisps munched in the lounge
wins the computer that night

He used to take us to the park
prior to sunday dinner
we would swing upon the swings
the highest was the winner

He bought us sweets to eat at home
they were gone in seconds flat
He never told mum of our crimes
and gave our heads a pat

Every sunday we would toast
'to the chef' we'd cheer
but he would sit there muttering
'your turn next week dear'

He never used to shout and scream
the way that mummy could
though i heard him swear once
when chittys hood blew up.

We were older and partying now
emerging from our slumber
the morning after what a pain
our heads were torn assunder

But at the stove he would be
cooking with sleeves rolled up
bacon, eggs and buttys galore
for us hung over pups.

I remember you were always warm
With your hat in pride of place
It never left your head at all
though we would plead its case.

I never meant to laugh that night
when i went to say goodbye
your hat was gone, just like you
though you were flying high.

I really miss you now your're gone
I wish that you had stayed.
You were always there and now you're not
I think that i'm afraid

Some things just dont come easy
I've found this to be one
Now we have to find the strength
To say goodbye and carry on

People have been very kind
It's blown us all away
thanks for all your lovely words
and respects you pay.

Thankyou all for being here
And even though dads gone
He's in our hearts and in our minds
A bright light to be shone

It was read out at his funeral which was a comfort in itself, the service was lovely and gave me a sense of peace though I still miss him terribly; that he will never see me get married or walk me up the aisle or see any children I might have one day. I don't know who is going to walk me down the aisle come to think of it it had never occurred to me to think about it before because he had always been there.

But I don't have any bad memories of him which is more than most people can say, one of the sympathy cards read that he 'was like a rock in the stream of life which just flowed past him never disturbing him' A better man you couldn't have found.